Language Of The Little People

I love my kids, I love having kids, I love the stuff that comes out of my kids mouths. If for no other reason but to help me write these blogs. On the other side of that as well, these blogs will help me to never forget what they have said either. This is more of a list of very short examples instead of a usual blog.

Some of their words will never be forgotten as my wife and I have incorporated it into our general household language. No, we don’t go into that whole babbling, baby talk crap. Just certain words. For example, when asked to do something our little one would say “Okay”. But he couldn’t pronounce his “K’s” back then. Even though he is now 11, when my wife sends me an sms and asks me to pick something up on my way home, my reply is always “Otay”

A lot of youngsters have trouble getting their little mouths around “TR”. Apparently my oldest brother, now in his 40’s, did. Tree would be Fee, Train would be Fain, etc. I would love to have seen the horror on my mother’s face the day she took this bright little chatter box on a fam (see what I did there?), a very crowded tram, he very loudly announced the big TRuck dad had the night before when he came home from work. Dad had apparently borrowed a truck from work the day before for some reason. My 5’10” mum was trying to be 3’10” for the rest of the trip.

My little girl, now 9, after bath-time would always be attacked by the Belly Button Bryer.

My 3 year old used to always ask for Sumpin to eat or to watch Sumpin on tv. Sumpin has now become part of our household language.

The same little one seems to have sensitive ears and hates the sound of our vacuum cleaner. Which is fair enough, ours makes a horrible noise. She hates it so much that nearly every morning for a while she would ask my wife “Are you Bacuum Feaming today mum?” Very cute.

One of my favourites for sure would have to be from the now 11 year old. Every time someone would ask “How are you?” the answer was always, ALWAYS, “Breat” (Great). The thing that makes this one stick in the mind so well is the sad memory of my little boy getting the flu. Pretty bad too. His little nose and all around it was red. His lips dried and split. His eyes barely able to open and a little gunky from the tears after numerous coughing fits. His skin paler than white to point of almost grey. “(sad, sympathetic voice) How are ya mate?”, “(quiet, croaky voice) Breat!”. To this this day, if my wife or I are unwell and the other one asks “How are you?” the other will answer “Breat!” and we know that the other isn’t well.

Most of our new found language is used mostly in text messages. I can’t help but think that if ASIO started monitoring our messages, what the hell would they think. When they read “Mmmbep”, would they realise it was actually inspired by an 18 month old accidently kicking her dad in the head whilst he was picking food up off the floor under her high chair. Dad (me) said “OW!” which is by far the funniest punchline a parent can deliver to their children. She of course screams with laughter as I rub my head. I look at her seriously and ask “Do you think that’s funny do you?” her reply with a nod, “Mmmbep!”

Music also brings lots of laughs. My, now 9 year old, daughter has always loved singing. She didn’t always get the lyrics right. I would feel so guilty afterwards sometimes when I would overhear what she was singing and start laughing. She got a little embarrassed a couple of times but I had to explain to her that if something is funny, whether deliberate or not, people will laugh. Maybe I’ll never receive a father of the year award.

There seemed to be a food theme to most of her misinterpretations which added to the humour. Here’s some examples, now see if you don’t sing these versions next time you hear these songs:-

Funhouse – Pink. This used to be a funhouse, bananas full of evil clowns.

Evil Woman – ELO. Wee-ee want waffles

I’d love to “My see yook (look)” at some of your examples of words that only make sense at your house.

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