Not All Anniversaries Are Too Be Celebrated But Some Still Need A Drink.

Well I haven’t blogged for a while. I guess I got tired of the whinging and whining. So I apologise for doing that. I have about 4 or 5 started blogs. Some a couple of lines, some a couple of paragraphs. But the motivation left the building. This one is a bit about the last blog and no drinking and Hayley.

I mentioned last time that I was putting in a finance (or lack thereof) alcohol ban for myself. I said 40 days. I reached 60 days. But day 61 looked like this:-

and today, Sunday 23rd June (would have been Day 63), looks like this:-

so over the first 2 days there were 2 bottles of wine (shared between Leia and myself) and 4 beers today (or will be by the end of the day). Maybe I’m too weak for a big challenge but here is the reason that date is so significant.

Thursday 23rd June 2016 was the day we had flights booked for the whole family to go on our first ever, week long, holiday. But instead we sat in a small room while the doctors told us that Hayley had cancer. The 23rd June will ALWAYS be remembered as the day that cancer moved into our house.

Not all anniversaries are too be celebrated but some still need a drink.

We tried to distract our thoughts today by taking 2 teenagers shoe shopping. Sigh! Nothing like sitting around for hours waiting for a result to bring back memories of waiting around for hours/days waiting for results. Seemed like a good idea at the start.

I have a request for anyone/everyone who reads this. This is a bit of a sore point in our home as we have heard it many times. From people we love dearly as well as others. Those on the outside (and I hope you always stay there) say it a lot, so I ask:-

Please, please, please stop saying it is all behind us and we can move on.

We are now at 18 months in remission. That is worth a cheer and a celebration. That 18 months has included 6 visits to the hospital for MRIs and X-Rays to be sure she is still in remission. An operation to remove her port. 2 hospital visits to boost her vaccinations after her immune system came back. Months of waiting for her immune system to come back. Months of waiting and watching as she starts to gain wait again. Add to that the still on going night terrors where we hear Hayley screaming “NO! I DON’T WANT TO!” in the middle of the night. The night mares. The fact that Hayley still can’t go to sleep alone. As well as many years of side effects, etc. that we still need to keep our eyes open for and the memories we see sometimes when our eyes are closed. 

Yes, the treatment is behind us. But this is still too fresh. Please don’t tell people to Move On! Sometimes it just isn’t an option. Even after the “Interesting Bits” for the viewers are finished.

As for the drinking? Monday the 24th of June will become Day 1 again. This time the plan is to not drink until at least one of the credit cards is paid off, cancelled and we have nothing to do with that bank anymore. So the goal there is a glass of wine (or two) on Christmas Day. That is a goal of 185 Days. Wish me luck.

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Love to all, chat soon!

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